Feb 14, 2014

When Priests Commit Suicide - In the Loving Memory of Carsten Häublein

A year ago, on February 14th, a day dedicated to love, I got a heartbreaking message which reflects most the unloving nature of our society. I was informed that my friend, Carsten Häublein, a German priest who suffered from EHS for 10 years, could no longer take the pain of the ‘Fire’ 4G LTE, which burned inside his head, and he committed suicide.

My sadness was profound and on that same day I wrote a post but I did not publish it. His death was too overwhelming and I needed more time to digest it and understand what it meant for me, what impact should it have on my life and what his death says about the world and society when priests commit suicide.

Carsten first contacted me 10 months before he committed suicide and we kept in touch and had long conversations, he even spoke Hebrew. He worked tirelessly to help hundreds of people who suffer from EHS while trying to survive himself and living in inhumane conditions in his car in the woods.  

In one of our calls I tried to convince him to give an interview and he refused. He explained that he gave interviews in the past and as a result he and others who tried to fight local cell phone antennas were persecuted “the way the Jews were persecuted by the Nazis”. No German would have said these words lightly, especially not to a Jew, and living with EHS for 4 years, I agree that the comparison is inevitable and no Jew would have said it lightly either.
His exact day of death is unknown, sometime between 11th to the 14th of February, 2013.  He committed suicide by jumping into a freezing river. His body was found a few days later. He sat by the river for a few days prior to his death, and one day a person asked him if everything was OK. Why, when for 10 years he said that no, nothing is OK, didn’t anyone do something? Why now, when millions are screaming including children, is anyone still doing nothing?

This is what I wrote the day I heard about Carsten’s suicide:
“I have been sitting all day staring at the computer, saying and thinking again and again “not Carsten…No”. I did not know what to do with myself. I feel sorrow that I cannot contain. It is evening now, and I just cannot smile, I cannot be consoled. I am deeply sad about Carsten but it hurts even more to comprehend the kind of world and society I live in. We learned nothing from the Holocaust.
When mothers who are trying to protect their children are arrested and indicted for refusing the installation of wireless meters in their homes, instead of those who manufacture and distribute them, something is very wrong in society. When judges, doctors, engineers are forced to leave their homes, families and careers and become refugees in the woods in the freezing winter, something is very wrong in society.
But when priests commit suicide, an act which is contradictory to the core of their being, then it means hope is completely lost and with it our most basic values as a humane society.
Today I lost any shred of hope I had in humanity, because when priests commit suicide and cannot see light amidst all the darkness, there is no hope”.
My last conversation with Carsten was difficult. I felt he were at the end of his rope. Following the conversation I contacted another German friend, but apparently no one could help, even in the woods he could not escape the tormenting 4G anymore.
Carsten asked that the poem “Von guten Mächten wunderbar geborgen“ or “By Loving Forces Silently Surrounded”, be read in his funeral. The poem was written by Dietrich Bonhoeffer, a German pastor and a writer who fought the Nazis to protect the Jews and just like Carsten, his life is a testament ofcommitment to justice on behalf of those who face implacable evil”. He was executed just before the war ended. Following is a partial translation of the poem[i]:
By gracious powers so wonderfully sheltered,
and confidently waiting, come what may,
we know that God is with us night and morning,
and never fails to greet us each new day.

Yet is this heart by its old foe tormented,
still evil days bring burdens hard to bear;
O give our frightened souls the sure salvation
for which, O Lord, you taught us to prepare.

And when this cup you give is filled to brimming,
with bitter sorrow, hard to understand,
we take it thankfully and without trembling,
out of so good and so beloved a hand.

Yet when again in this same world you give us
the joy we had, the brightness of your sun,
we shall remember all the days we lived through,
and our whole life shall then be yours alone

Anna Frank wrote that Despite it all, I believe that people are really good at heart”. I don’t. The end of Anna Frank’s story just as Carsten’s, is all the proof I need.

I signed my post last year with the word “Shattered”. I still am, every day, thinking about Carsten and the society that murdered him.



  1. While I agree with Anne Frank, because I also agree with the Scriptures that what God has created is "very good", our insensitivity towards others are due to our pride and selfishness, a result of the Fall and why mankind needs redemption. We need to detach ourselves from all the objects and gadgets that make us so self-focused. Love and charity are the purpose for life; may we realize that before it's too late. Thank you for telling me about Fr. Carsten and I will have a Mass offered for the repose of his soul. May he rest in peace.

    1. Thank you so much Jason for the comment and everything else...! ​

    2. A very thoughtful and wise comment Jason. Thank you

  2. A Jahrzeit is a thoughtfully chosen moment to post this.

    Those who grasp what is transpiring, through suffering of their own or those they are close enough to, can incline almost unavoidably to compare with events from some 70 years ago. I see a continuation from then, only the horrors now visited upon creaturely existence are done less jackboot-style than with smiles out front, making for the most insidious.

    Not only are such technologies in a direct line from discoveries and wartime applications back then, but entire means of livelihood across the board have been assimilated to wartime warlike means, these have jumped the battlefield for the everyday, making for the most insidious and so very hard to avoid.

    But above all I see this all as a kind of culmination of the eclipse of spiritualities, where crass scientism has come to serve as religious surrogate, gripping governments in thrall. When even churches can put cell masts in their midst, and persons such as you memorialize are caught, trapped and ignored, it is hard to see how much lower it can go.

    A simple glance with an open mind and heart at this graphic, http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/34/Atmospheric_electromagnetic_opacity.svg , for example, should have us question whether clarity of the whole of the atmospherically transparent range is not needed for biological flourishing altogether.

    This sorry epoch of domination by such interests as perpetrate and hold in place for as long as they can, will come to its end. Ours is to hasten that time, and diminish suffering until. With this we are with you, Dafna.

    1. Thank you for very wise and unfortunately very true words!

  3. Dafna, my heart is with you. Loosing someone to such circumstances is horrific. Sharon

    1. Thank you Sharon...unfortunately there are so many more EHS who commit suicide and most of us think about doing it every day...

  4. Dear Dafna,
    Heartbreaking story and reality.
    Man IS bad, unkind, mean.

    Dear Carsten Häublein - Rest In Peace.
    Dafna and her friends are doing their best to change reality in many aspects, including fighting against all the new technologies which radiate and damage man and nature to the extreme. You are not alone, you have many friends in this world who miss you. R.I.P.

  5. Today I asked God to take my life because I cannot live with this illness of EMF sensitivity anymore. I told him that my son would be okay without me, he is 23 now.

    1. Alex. Unfortunately I guess most people with EHS think about committing suicide and it is not because of a mental condition but from an impossible reality and torturing pains. It is easy to loose hope and to end it is justified. Life worth while only to some extent. I have very little or no words to encourage you. My way to deal with this absurd reality is to fight and immerse myself in it. Forget about reality while trying to change it. This is all the advice I can give. I hope you will find your way to deal with reality and hopefully change will come sooner rather than later, but it will come only if people will do all they can to change it! Be well. Thinking of you.

    2. Hi Alex, I just woke up feeling suicidal also... But have "lived" with it some 20 years now. An asked God the same question many times, which He normally gently refuses to act upon in the way we expect. Hang on. Help is on its way. Suicide is no solution, neither for your body nor for your soul. You will come back again and face the same shit... But I am with you, it aint easy.

      What helps me nowadays is...
      - Going out in nature as much a s possible
      - Regular meditation. Brahma Kumaris offers free courses world wide.
      - Diatomic Earth... Doesn't cost much and cleanses your body like no other method
      - Check up on the Neuro transmitters.
      - Check and check again on the electrical wiring of my place and the equipment I use. A lot of what we call EHS is due to poor understanding of the magnetic fields induced by poor wiring techniques.
      - Talk with the neighbors to ask them switch off all the gadgets as much as possible.
      - Doing things I really enjoy, like all sort of contemporary dance...Bio-danza, 5 rhythms, Sports etc.
      - emotional cleansing... EFT or other techniques, calling my friends and family much more regularly and watch inspiring movies or talk with inspiring people. Play with kids...

  6. Tomorrow, March 26th, a Mass in Carsten's name will take place in a church in NJ,"SHRINE CHAPEL OFTHE BLESSED SACRAMENT" A friend of mine, Jason Edwards, who was touched by Carsten's story organized it. The address of the church is: 50 West Somerset Street, Raritan, NJ.

    He wrote: "I was touched by your posting about your friend and if he was someone that meant so much to you, then the least I could do was keep him in my prayers."

    As for the purpose of the Mass:

    In the Catholic faith, we teach that we cannot know for sure where a person goes when they die - we shouldn't judge that a person is in hell, nor can we assume that they've gone straight to heaven.

    So, what happens when we die? There are Scripture verses (such as the story of Judas Maccabeus) and testimony from the early centuries of the Church that lead us to believe that sometimes a person must undergo (for lack of a better term) a "waiting period" where a person's soul is "cleansed" from any attachments that might be impure - for instance, if we had an attachment to certain sinful behavior. We call that state of being "Purgatory". We believe that a person, during this time of cleansing, depends on our prayers as a way of having "community support" for our brothers and sisters - it helps us understand that, just as we'd pray for one another in this life, we should continue to pray for one another in the next life, that death does not separate us from those whom we love.

    So, in the Catholic faith there is no higher form of prayer than the Mass; therefore, every Catholic Mass is offered for either an intention (for instance, asking the Lord for peace in Ukraine), or for someone we are assuming is in Purgatory being cleansed.

    As for a person who has committed suicide, we believe that no one but God knows the state of mind or feeling of anguish a person must be feeling when they make that decision. As our official teaching states: We should not despair of the eternal salvation of persons who have taken their own lives. By ways known to him alone, God can provide the opportunity for salutary repentance. The Church prays for persons who have taken their own lives.

    So, we pray! And I'll write it on my calendar at home so that hopefully every year I can offer a Mass for your friend. Oftentimes it is asked, "For how long should we pray for the departed?" And oftentimes the answer is, "Until you get to see them again in the next life!" I can't promise I'll be able to offer Masses for the rest of my life, but I'll offer them whenever I can!!

  7. Thanks Dafna for disclosing this content. The emotion that comes to EHS patiens who are in the same condition as Carsten Häublein. The disease cornered us and pushes us, society leaves no room for us. A terrible struggle that only the strongest and luckiest overcome, others will stay on the road but never all of what we were is lost. Something always will.

  8. Unfortunately many more people many follow this route if we don't change our ways and get over the seduction of wireless technology. See what the experts are describing as the BIGGEST health crisis humanity has ever faced at http://EMFsummit.com